


Colleagues

by quaffanddoff



Category: Barry (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Assassins & Hitmen, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Introspection, Murder, Stakeout, hitwoman, references to past abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28795833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quaffanddoff/pseuds/quaffanddoff
Summary: The criminal underworld is extensive, but it's not infinite. Barry was bound to run into her sooner or later.
Relationships: Barry Berkman/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Colleagues

The underworld seems vast and extensive because it’s so shrouded in mystery. _But how big could it really be_ , Barry muses to himself, _if you stop and think about it?_ In the shadow economy, just like any other economy, the demand for a product drives the supply. There is a substantial but finite market for narcotics and crime and death. Therefore, there are a limited number of drug lords, human traffickers, pimps, mob bosses, counterfeiters, organ harvesters, and of course, contract killers.

Barry has eventually come to realize that when you’re in the field long enough, no matter how secretive and discreet you are, you start to come across the same people. It’s not as though you become friends with them—the nature of the business doesn’t exactly allow for that. But there is only a limited number of other people out there doing what you’re doing. The same few people are ordering hits, and the same few people are carrying them out. 

When Barry first started out, he felt as though he and Fuches were flying completely solo out there. He assumed they were totally unique. He learned the truth one day when they were outbid for a gig. He didn't know by how much, since Fuches handled all the money stuff. He only knew that Fuches was furious to have a potentially lucrative job snatched out of his grasp by a competitor. That was the first time Barry had really contemplated that there might be other hitmen out there just like him, maybe even other hitman/handler pairs, other pseudo-uncles calling the shots, other military vets trying to find their purpose in this dark and deadly world. The realization was a bit disturbing, but at the same time, it made him feel less alone. He idly wondered if there was some kind of meetup or club they could all form, maybe a support group, a bowling league perhaps. 

As the years go by, he becomes aware of others like him—“colleagues,” as he likes to think of them. The word conjures up images of office drones leaving passive-aggressive post-it notes in each others’ cubicles, but in Barry’s reality, it just means names. Real names, fake names, code names. Names he overhears Fuches growling on the phone, names he sees on the dark web sites where Fuches sometimes posts ads. 

Occasionally he encounters the people behind these names out in the real world. Ex-military, mob guys, gang members, corrupt cops. Men who are desperate for money. Men who glance sideways at him at the counter at a firearm supply store. Men who check into discreet motel rooms alone. Men who Barry sees sitting in their cars all night outside a mark’s house because _he_ is also in his car all night on his own job. He can't help but wonder why he never runs into any women in this line of work.

The more he encounters these men, the more he feels glad that there is no water cooler to stand around gossiping with them. It chills him to think that these are his peers, his equals. He sees himself reflected in their lonely, haunted eyes, and he doesn't like what he sees.

Barry is from Ohio and there simply isn't a massive amount of people willing to pay to kill other people in the Midwest. That’s why it's easy to notice that someone is encroaching on his territory. The frequency of his gigs has gone down, which makes Barry pleased and makes Fuches furious. Fuches gathers that it's because of a new assassin on the scene, someone who is known simply by the letter D. He orders Barry to take out the competition: to kill D. 

Barry isn't sure how to feel about this assignment. On one hand, he has only ever killed under specific circumstances: at war, in self-defense, or for a hit. Those are the terms of his code, such as it is, and while it may not square with conventional morals, his code is important to him. Killing D just because of a personal territory dispute, just to get a better piece of the market share, feels for the first time like…well, murder.

On the other hand, Barry kills bad people, and D is obviously a bad person. In addition to being a contract killer, D is the enforcer in a human trafficking ring that keeps men and women in brutal, inhumane conditions, literally shackled and caged. D is as bad as bad can get.

Barry devotes all his resources to tracking down D. After a long search, he finds her.

~

He sits outside her house in his car for a few days, diligently watching, waiting. He takes notes on her daily routines and habits and tells himself he needs to do extra thorough recon for this one.

One night she turns off the lights in her house and gets into her car. Barry drives after her, hanging back as discreetly as possible. She arrives at a dingy-looking bar and goes inside. After a few minutes, Barry follows her in.

After his eyes adjust to the dim light, he finally finds her, drinking alone in a corner. He can sense her misery from across the room. 

This is no innocent young lady. It's all in the file Fuches had given Barry. Her abusive ex had forced her into this life, but that was years ago. He had since been killed, but there she is, still involved in this trafficking ring. She may have been a victim at first, but that was years ago. Now she is fully complicit. She is a capable, consenting adult, doing this of her own volition. There is no doubt about it. There is no way Barry can spin this or deliberately misinterpret it to make her an innocent victim.

Nevertheless, he still feels sympathy for her. He of all people knows what it's like to find yourself embedded in a world you find abhorrent. Even if nothing is really keeping you there, you're unable to accept the responsibility, the fact that you could leave if you really wanted to. He knows how it feels when your own complacency, your own laziness, your own goddamn cowardice keeps you trapped. When others are giving you orders, it's easier to just follow your commands than to think for yourself. Of course, it's _not_ easier in the end. When all is said and done, it's infinitely harder. But when you're in it, it feels like the only choice.

He approaches her casually, hoping just to gather a little intel. Something clicks. Before he knows it, they've spent half the night talking. 

They even kiss, right there at the bar, pulled together by some mysterious magnetism. He lets it happen and refuses to allow himself to question it.

They kiss again on the street, then again back at her place. He feels the bottomless pit of self-loathing inside himself open up and swallow her whole. He's instantly attached. It's pathetic. But he has been patiently waiting for her and she is finally here. He can't hold back any longer.

When they come together, it feels like a hit in all senses of the word: adrenaline, fear, pain, euphoria, triumph. And beneath it all: violence. Aggression. She has a sadistic streak. Or maybe he has a hitherto unknown masochistic streak. It's hard to tell who's the instigator.

For a time, it becomes a regular thing. She's young, captivating, and unstable. Her body is covered in marks and scars from a lifetime of fighting. Growing up, she had been abused and then abandoned. She had hardly any formal schooling, but she is keenly intelligent, completely self-taught. She has uncontrollable violent tendencies. She has no moral code and no conscience. 

She got into this industry because she had no other choice, but she stays because it suits her. He knows she has to be unhinged to do what she does. No one can torture others, treat them like property, if they’re sane.

But she seems perfectly sane when she’s with Barry. He marvels at how a person can contain two opposite sides at once.

He feels seen by her in a way he’s never felt before. She knows what he does and it’s nothing to her. 

When they talk, they discuss how great it would be to change, to put everything behind them and move on. They both know it’s never going to happen.

When they're together, it’s a level of soul connection with another human being that he's never experienced before, that he never even knew was possible.

When his hands finally close around her neck, he can see in her eyes that she knows she deserves this. 

He deserves it, too.


End file.
